Come darkness
It’s been a while since I wrote, and so if you no longer want to receive emails from me, that’s ok. You can always unsubscribe at the bottom of the email, no hard feelings. To those who stay, thank you for your continued support. If you have a friend who you think might enjoy my newsletters, please share x
The world is dark, so dark,
and the world is light, so light, and
this is our invitation.
— words from Making Light, An Invitation… by Kerri ni Dochartaigh, Emergence Magazine, Vol. 6: SEASONS
I’m beginning with these words by my soul sister because they have been singing around my brain every day since I first read them. I encourage you to watch Five Studies on Light, which uses some more words from this essay in an absolutely spell-binding way.
The darkness feels heavier than usual this Winter, and many folks I know and love are feeling the same way. This year has contained a startling amount of loss and grief. I am at a loss as to how to how I’ve kept going. As I near the end of the year, I feel my desire to keep up the appearance of having it all together is waning. What I’m really trying to say is sometimes the cobbler has the worst-looking shoes, and right now, I’m not a very embodied somatic coach. Life is a dance, isn’t it, and I know I’ll begin moving again in a moment, but for now I just need a sit lie down.
Last week, I had an honest health check with Dearbhla at Aurum Kinesiology. I’ve been a part of her year-long program combining kinesiology and human design (and any other strands of interest she has at any particular time) since January, and it has been restructuring me in a way I can’t find proper words for yet. We started the session on the couch, which isn’t her usual approach, because of the state I arrived in. I lay there considering the tiredness she could sense in me, and I allowed myself to really feel it - deep, bone-deep weariness, the kind of tiredness you wonder if you can ever resurface from. The pattern my body was holding was “if I am not carrying the stress, then I am a burden to others”, and we soon found its root - a belief that being low-maintenance and capable kept me safe and loved. I laughed so much in our session - laughs of realisation, laughs of relief, laughs of slight insanity at believing such utter bullshit about myself. And yet - I could understand why I would believe it too. I could sense its multiple strands woven through me, a kind of scaffolding that had built a different version of me, and then a crumbling as we unpicked the many limiting beliefs. I am grateful for the many enlightening moments that I have experienced in every session with Dearbhla, the light she has brought into my body even when helping me move dark, heavy things. Even in the tiredness I’m currently moving through there is a levity, an understanding that it’s temporary. It’s all temporary isn’t it? Sometimes it’s good to be reminded.
There is so much light if we’re willing to look for it. The willows in our garden have lost most of their leaves now, but the beauty of their dance took me outside at sunset. Life is busy, but I don’t need to be concerned with all that needs to be done in every moment of it. I hope you can find these freeing moments too. And that if even a moment feels impossible just now, that more ease finds you soon.
Ways to work with me
I’m available for a limited number of one-on-one clients. To book please contact me via email — lorna at morningsong dot uk
I’m really delighted to share that I am running a 7-week group class in January, “Release and Rest”, at Holywood Steiner School. It will be a blend of Holosomatic Body Therapy and Yoga Nidra, to allow for release at the level that’s right for you and deep rest. You can find more information here, and until December 10th, I’m offering an early bird discount with the code RELEASE15.
“Each session takes you on a journey of self-discovery, while being guided without pressure, it was the ideal start to my first holosomatic experience. I’ve learnt about the possibilities of breathwork through the course and can feel a difference in how I connect to my body. Lorna’s softness brings comfort and safety to the sessions, where the vulnerability of personal work relies on this powerful trust. I would recommend this course to anyone curious about improving their self-knowledge; it’s really been worth the commitment.”
— Zoe, previous participant
Thank you so much for reading x
Just wanted to say that it is a way to bless others to share when the burden feels like too much. If we weren't all so worried about pretending to be fine, more of us would understand that it's okay and normal not to be sometimes. Especially in the world we are living in now. Thank you for sharing that -- from a fellow human who also learned a long time ago that doing so is "unsafe". I hope you get some of the rest you need. x
Gorgeous post beautiful girl lovely to read your words again. I miss you!